I just heard something/someone knock on my window.
My window faces the garden.
I’m home alone and despite having practised the “Naomi Campbell Cell Phone Attack/Self-defense” I still don’t think I’d win a battle against robbers. Or a person who’s a mix of Freddie, Jason, Jigsaw, Creepy Girl from [insert Asian horror movie], and the clown from It.
So I’m just going to wait for the sun to come up.
Because psychopaths and the completely messed up part of my brain dissappear in the morning.
I just spent 8 minutes laughing at my toes. Alone.
Why does the knee always get more tan than the rest of the leg?
And WHY are elbows so ugly (and also tanner than the rest of the arm)?
Tonight I dreamt that I got stabbed in the knee with needles and scissors by one of my former classmates (I know, it totally happens to you, too, right?).
Then I got mad and slapped my friend for laughing at me while I was sitting with needles and scissors in my knee (I was obviously in severe pain. Bitch.).
Then I found out that my former classmate was stabbing me because she’d seen a movie about African torture and because her mom was handicapped (yeah… it makes totally sense).
Then I had to escape in my car (which usually is a two-seater) with my parents, my brother and my godparents (just spent a week with them… if they could just limit themselves to being present in reality and not in my dreams then that would be awesome).
Then we drove to the town where my school is (a town without a hospital) and talked about how it was too late to go to mass (because we have a certain expertise in that subject. Not).
I woke up, way too early, completely disoriented in a place in southern France – both knees still intact (well, that’s a lie; Left is actually completely messed up).
I love Summer.
He picked me up from a party at 3.30 am, spent forty minutes on picking hairpins out of my hair, and went to bed at 5 am after he had helped me with the blisters I’d gotten from the Shoes of Death and Pain.
And my bed was made. Awesome.