December 9, 2009
10 Things Men Don't Want to Hear in Bed

What she says: “My husband is home!”
What he’s saying to himself: If you know she is married, you probably figured this could happen one day. If you assumed she was “single,” then this is partly your fault. That’s not the issue right now. You’ve got bigger flounder to fillet. The flounder’s name is Steve and judging from the sound of the footsteps he outweighs you by a Buick. Real men don’t fight; they use windows to get out of Dodge.

December 6, 2009
“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

(via silk)

(via silk)

December 2, 2009

Being awake at 5.45 am isn't as awesome as some people claim.

November 24, 2009

History, Physics, English, Math, and Chemistry can SUCK IT. Hard.

November 23, 2009

One more time...

I just saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and I couldn’t stop thinking about how the M.A.R.S. troopers resembled Daft Punk.

November 22, 2009
Yeah… I’m all for simplicity and cleverness.

Yeah… I’m all for simplicity and cleverness.

November 17, 2009
Adam Richardson: Invaded Space

Adam Richardson: Invaded Space

November 14, 2009

Evelyn Glennie shows how to listen

“In this soaring demonstration, deaf percussionist Evelyn Glennie illustrates how listening to music involves much more than simply letting sound waves hit your eardrums.”

Take your time to watch her talk.

Yeah...

I just looked at a nasty bruise on my left knee.

Then I proceeded to cross my legs, and I caught myself thinking: “OH I have one on the right one, too?!”